Day 56 - Spartan

Be strong young Spartan apple, like the warriors of ancient Greece.  You don't know who Daddy is but don't become another statistic, Mamma loves you!

Little Spartan went on The Jerry Springer Show with mother McIntosh.  For the longest time, he thought the cool, green, russeted Newtown Pippin from America was his father but lately, he was having doubts.  They were so different.  Jerry opened the envelope with the paternity test results.  The audience got very quiet, then the reveal... Newtown Pippin was not the father.  The crowd released a collective gasp that could be heard from the street.  Spartan cried, "How could you lie to me Mom?"  Mother McIntosh explained that she was young and times were different.  Mr. Pippin was a good father figure to Spartan and when he went away, she knew Newtown would not return.  She would rather Spartan think that Newtown Pippin was his father rather than having to figure out among the MANY other apples who it might be.

I am of course, kidding about the Jerry Springer part.  They don't have apple paternity tests on that show.  It was actually on The Maury Povich Show but it is true that until recently, it was thought that Spartan was a mix of the McIntosh and Newtown Pippin.  Recent DNA testing has ruled that out.  It is a mix of the McIntosh and an unknown variety.

The Spartan originated in 1936 from Summerland, British Columbia, Canada.  It is a small to medium apple.  They usually have a dark red skin with some patches of yellow.  The skin is thick and chewy.

My specimen was decent.  The skin took a lot of chewing, luckily, I have teeth.  The apple smelled very appily and it was juicy.  It didn't have a lot of flavor but there was a bit of a vinous or wine like quality to it.

Next time, I review the favorite apple of Imagine Dragons, the SnapDragon.  Crunch on!

Day 55 - Suncrisp

What huge apple secrets young Gary could have shared with me but I will never know because Gary is... dead!  Maybe he's not dead but he is missing.  His last words to me were, "Enjoy your Suncrisp apples sir."

It was October 23rd, the brisk feel of Fall permeating the air.  I went to Basse's Taste of Country, a great place to pick your own pumpkins, go for a hayride, get lost in their 8 acre corn maze (Gary, I'm just saying) or get some apples.

I entered the quaint country store filled with various jams/jellies, pickled things, pumpkins, apples, knick knacks and funny looking gourdes.  The room smelled of apple cider donuts and I would have got one or six if my visit hadn't ended so abruptly.  Perusing the apple section, I found mostly common apples like the Cortland and I wanted something more interesting.  I found a bag of Suncrisp apples that looked intriguing but I thought this place must have more to choose from, maybe in the back.

I went to the counter where a zit-faced teen with a Bieber haircut circa 2009 and a name tag that read: Gary, was manning the register.  He asked if I wanted the bag of apples I was holding and I said, "Yes, but what else do you got, where are the cool, experimental apples?  This place has acres of apple trees and it is prime season."  Our eyes met and I could see he was nervous and hiding something.  I said, "come on, show me the cool apples."  He claimed not to know what I was talking about but I pressed him like an apple in an apple press.  I got in his face and yelled, "Show me the fucking apples punk!"  He said, "Ok, keep it down.  I'll show you but it's gonna cost you."  I nodded in agreement.  I was willing to shell out phat stacks yo for artisinal apples.

We ventured into the back room, approaching a large crate.  There were some great specimens in that box, I could feel it!  Gary looked both ways nervously, we were just about to open the crate when I heard, "Stop right there, don't even think about opening that box!"  Three large gentlemen had entered the room, one with a shovel, one with a pitchfork and one with a machete.  They scolded Gary saying he should know better that nobody else is supposed to see this.  With eyes of daggers, they told Gary to say goodbye to the nice customer and told me I should leave now!  That is when Gary said, "Enjoy your Suncrisp apples sir."  I threw down five bucks and left.  As I was leaving, I heard Gary screaming, "no-no-no, I'm sorry, arrghhhh!"

I was a little concerned about Gary and returned to Basse's Taste of Country a few days later.  I asked the woman at the register if Gary was around.  She said no Gary had ever worked there.  I described him and stated I had been there a few days prior.  She said again more firmly that she had never worked with a Gary!  I bought an apple cider donut (it was delicious) and left.

Now for the review.  The Suncrisp was developed in New Jersey in 1994.  It is a mix of a Cortland, a Cox's Orange Pippin and a Golden Delicious.  They are small to medium in size and the skin is yellow with patches of red covering up to 40 percent of the fruit.  They don't brown easily and can be kept up to 6 months when refrigerated.  In fact, they are know to be sweeter and tastier after several weeks.

Wherever you are Gary, sorry if I got you in trouble.  If it's any consolation, know that I enjoy the Suncrisp apples you sold me, thanks dude!

Next time, I review the Spartan apple.  Crunch on, do it for Gary!

Day 54 - Apple Pie OREO

Today's review is of the limited edition Apple Pie Oreo!  There have been many special flavors of the Oreo over the years.  I am a sucker for trying them and I do mean sucker as most of them are not very good but they look and sound great!  Here is a list and description of all the Oreo flavors that have come out I found at teenvogue.com.  The person on that site ranked them in order of their preference.  It does not reflect my preference.  I indicate with a 🔺 which ones I have tried.

55. Peeps. This was a terrible idea. Plus, they turned some people's poop pink.

54. Swedish Fish. I really don't have much to say here other than the fact that no one asked for this.

53. Back to School. Probably created for teachers looking to bribe their students into liking them. Nobody likes propaganda. You cannot win my love with cookies!!! (You totally can, but my point stands.)

52. The seasonal Oreos. Spring, Summer, and Winter Oreos taste like any other regular Oreo, but have food coloring and fancy designs on the cookie. They're not terrible, per se, but I don't need a cookie to tell me what time of the year it is. Do you?

51. American Creme. A golden Oreo with red and blue frosting stripes, meant to evoke the 4th of July, I guess. (If you cannot tell by my tone, I am not impressed.)

🔺 50. Halloween. Halloween Oreos only get a slightly higher ranking because the orange and black motif* sticks more closely to the Halloween theme than some arbitrary blue frosting does "summer." 

*(The fact that Oreo has not, to the best of my knowledge and Googling, created an chocolate and orange-flavored Oreo is a travesty of epic proportions.)

49. Lemon Twist. We'll get to Lemon Oreos in a second, but Lemon Twist Oreos featured lemon filling paired with the original chocolate cookie. Do you like lemon and chocolate together? If so, good for you. I don't.

🔺48. Watermelon. If you want to taste a watermelon flavor, eat a watermelon. I'll even give you a pass with watermelon candy! Not a cookie. 

🔺47. Heads or Tails. I get the theory of combining both an original and a golden Oreo into one cookie. But wouldn't you just want to buy a pack of each? 

🔺46. Marshmallow Crispy. These were not entirely offensive, but too sweet and also featured little flecks of crisped rice that felt like someone had gotten grit in the filling. No, thank you. 

🔺45. Candy Corn. If you wanted to eat candy corn, wouldn't you... just ... eat... candy corn?

44. Cotton Candy. I get that it's not exactly easy to buy cotton candy at the store but isn't its theme-park novelty part of what makes it special? There's no need to take a good thing and mass produce it like this.

43. Fruit Punch. The Kool-Aid Man deserves better.

42. Rainbow Sherbet. Stop trying to make fruit-adjacent Oreos happen! They're not going to happen! (We'll get to the real fruit Oreos soon. Those are actually worth discussing.)

🔺41. Root Beer Float. A disclaimer: I am not the kind of person who would willingly opt for a root beer float under normal circumstances, but I can sort of see the appeal here?

🔺40. Mint. A shock and surprise, true, but there are reasons. See no. 18.

39. Inside Out. People who prefer golden cookies and chocolate filling are probably the same people who think there's a difference between French Vanilla and Vanilla ice cream. I don't trust them.

38. Caramel Apple. There is only so much sweetness I can handle in a cookie before it hurts. These just barely pass that threshold.

37. Choco Chip. Other people make these, too. They're called chocolate chip cookies.

36. Strawberries and Cream. Call me a heretic but strawberry-flavored food just isn't the same as an actual strawberry.

35. Fruity Crisp. Points deducted for the fact that, like Marshmallow Crispy, these Oreos feel like someone got sand in your frosting. But I'll never say no to funfetti, and these are basically the same concept, but breakfast.

34. Banana Split. I see the merit in making a banana split more portable, but if you want one of those, why not go big or go home, y'know?

🔺33. Red Velvet. The cream cheese filling is a great concept, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired.

🔺32. Golden Oreos. These are fine, I guess?

31. Waffles and Syrup.

🔺30. Jelly Donut.

🔺29. Cinnamon Bun.

The breakfast Oreos, as I like to call them, are being grouped together because while they each have their own talking points, the fact of the matter is that they're an excuse to eat Oreos for breakfast. Unfortunately, however, they're also really, really sweet, and any cookie that is too sweet for me to eat more than 3 in one sitting is way too sweet.

28. Blueberry Pie. Part of the joy of pie is the mix of the juicy filling and the flaky pastry. This isn't a bad cookie, but it doesn't necessarily approximate pie.

27. Berry Oreos. Your mom probably loves these. (This is not a "your mom" joke. Moms just like these kinds of cookies.)

26. DQ Blizzard. A Cookies and Cream Oreo under a different name, the only thing going against these is that they were discontinued.

25. Firework. Do you like Pop Rocks? Then you'll love this cookie that feels like it's literally attacking your mouth!!!

🔺24. Apple Pie. See Blueberry Pie, no. 28.

23. Gingerbread. Actual Gingerbread cookies are more fun, especially when they come in fun people shapes and you can bite random limbs off like you did when you were 5.

🔺22. Chocolate. I get it, I do. I really do. I also just don't feel any kind of way about these. But I do know I like them better than Golden Oreos, so there's that.

21. Filled Cupcake. Like a chocolate Oreo but slightly fancier? Seems extra, TBH.

🔺20. Original Oreo. Love ya, lil buddy, but as other flavors have proven, you can improve upon perfection sometimes.

19. White Fudge. A standard Oreo covered in white fudge. This is really decadent, but also kind of cheating?

18. Triple Double Chocolate Mint. While I docked points from the original Mint Oreo, the collaboration of chocolate and mint flavors should happen more often, so this one gets far higher rankings.

17. Strawberry Shortcake. Given the stipulation that strawberry-flavored things tend to taste worse than IRL strawberries, these should be ranked lower, and yet they're not bad?

🔺16. Creamsicle.

🔺15. Lemon.

14. Limeaid.

Three citrus fruits, one uniform golden Oreo cookie. Limeaid is the best but I'm also saying that because I love a good Key Lime Pie. Which brings us to...

🔺13. Key Lime Pie. This time, with a graham cracker cookie! It took me weeks to hunt these down. Those weeks were worth it.

🔺12. Cookies and Cream. I like to call these cannibal cookies because it's an Oreo with a filling made from Oreos that didn't make the cut. It's great. I have no complaints.

🔺11. Coconut. Literally the only bad thing about these is that they come in one size: Oreo Thins. The people deserve a full-sized coconut Oreo.

10. Mississippi Mud Pie. This one gets higher rankings that plain old chocolate because it adds a whipped cream swirl for contrast. Points awarded for going big, not for going home.

9. Brownie Batter. This is so much chocolate it's almost embarrassing. But it leans all the way into its chocolatey goodness and I respect that dedication.

8. Peanut Butter. These are frustratingly more difficult to find than they should be, but almost always worth it.

7. Cookie Dough. All the fun of actual cookie dough, none of the concerns that you could get salmonella. Everyone wins!

🔺6. Pumpkin Spice. You can either resist pumpkin spice every fall, or you can give into it. These are way betthe er than your favorite latte, though possibly less Instagrammable.

🔺5. Dunkin Donuts Mocha. Pair these with any of the breakfast Oreos and you have yourself a complete, well-rounded meal. (If only because Oreos are, well, round.) But honestly, coffee-flavored Oreos should be an official flavor.

🔺4. S'mores. These actually taste like S'mores, thanks to the graham cracker crust and marshmallow filling. Can you roast them at a campfire? Sadly, no. (I've tried.) Can you use them to sandwich a marshmallow to create a S'mores s'more? Yes, you can. (I've tried.)

🔺3. Birthday Cake. Food that has been given the funfetti treatment will never not be great. More foods should attempt to be funfetti.

🔺2. Candy Cane. Does it make sense that these are so much better than the Mint Oreos? No, not really. But they are, and it's probably because my brain equates them with the holidays and winter. This is the one seasonal cookie I will allow in my grocery cart.

🔺1.Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Take a chocolate Oreo. Now take a peanut butter Oreo. Put them together, and you have a sum that is far superior to its parts. If you find a store that sells these, buy them all, and then text me so I can buy the next shipment, too.

The above list is just for Oreos that have been sold in America.  More flavors have come out in other countries such as Green Tea, Orange-Mango and Dulce De Leche.

The Oreo cookie was developed by the National Biscuit Company (known today as Nabisco) in 1912.  In case you didn't know, the Oreo consists of two wafer cookies with a cream filling.  Beyond that, the variation of cookie and cream flavors is endless.

The Apple Pie Oreo consists of graham cracker cookies with a spiced apple cream.  The graham cracker cookie is a little less sweet than the regular vanilla cookie.  The creme tasted of apples with some cinnamon and caramel, not too bad.  I dipped one into apple cider, never thought I'd do that with an Oreo.  That made it a bit sweet but 'twas ok.

I think with Oreos, you can't beat the original.  I have to say, I was skeptical but the new Oreo Thins are good, they have the right proportions and even more crunch!

Alright, next time I'm back to actual apples with the Suncrisp.  Shine on you crazy diamond and also, crunch on!

Day 53 - Sweetie

Today's apple is the Sweetie.  It is a sexy apple that could easily hang with the head turning Envy, the jaw dropping Smitten, the sophisticated Lady Alice or the big pimpin' Jazz apple!  See previous reviews of these beauties!

The Sweetie is a New Zealand apple that debuted in 2005.  It was developed by combining the Gala and Braeburn.  Two other New Zealand apples that were developed from the Gala and the Braeburn were the Jazz (sophisticated and cool Daddy-O) and the Envy (sweet and sultry).

Sweetie apples have an oblong shape that is narrower on the bottom and the color is a mix of yellow and red.  Washington state was the first state in the US to grow them but now they are grown in several states.

Oh my darling Sweetie, I hope to see you again, so sweet so juicy!

Next time on An Apple a Day, I review the Apple Pie Oreo!  I have got suckered into trying many Oreo flavors (they all look so good) so I had to try this one.  C is for cookie and that's good enough for me.  Crunch on!

Day 52 - Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur and Drink Wisconsinably

Today's review is of Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur.  It is normally priced at Otto's (where I buy my booze) at $9.99 but it was on sale for $4.99 so I had to try it.

Along with apples, I do like booze.  Here is a link to a song my band The Night Howls did about drinking:  https://thenighthowls1.bandcamp.com/track/drink-wisconsinably  Check it out!

Onto the review.  Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur was introduced in 2013.  Apple liqueurs are common but apple cream liqueurs are rare.  This is the only one I've seen in person.  FH Apple Pie is made with neutral grain spirits and natural flavors from apple, caramel, brown sugar and cinnamon.  It is bottled at 25 proof in Bardstown, Kentucky and is only available September through November.  It pours a light tan color and has a good apple pie aroma.  It has a soft and creamy mouth feel and is quite sweet.

 Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur tastes ok.  My biggest complaint, it doesn't taste enough of apples.  Fulton's Harvest also makes a Pumpkin Pie Cream Liqueur and I suspect it tastes very similar.  I taste a lot of those Fall baking spice flavors that also go with pumpkin.

I'm sure that FH Apple Pie would work well in mixed drinks and I came up with one that I liked.  I mixed 2 parts Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur with 2 parts apple cider and 1 part Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum served on the rocks.  The apple cider brings the apple flavor it so desperately needs and the rum, some kick!  The cider also made the drink thicker.

Next time Apple Reader, I review the Sweetie apple.  Crunch on!

Day 51 - Apple Cider vs Apple Juice

Today, the battle royal!  I scoured the mean streets of Milwaukee to ask the question, apple cider or apple juice?  I asked one person, myself and this is what I discovered...

Apple cider is made from apples that are washed, cut and ground into an "apple mash" similar to applesauce. The mash is then wrapped in cloth and pressed into fresh juice. The official description from the Massachusetts Department of Agriculture says cider is "raw apple juice that has not undergone a filtration process to remove coarse particles of pulp or sediment."

On the other hand, apple juice undergoes filtration to remove pulp and is then pasteurized to extend the shelf life. Vacuum sealing and additional filtering help it stay fresh even longer.

Apple juice can sit unopened in your cabinet for months, but apple cider is perishable and should be refrigerated. Unpasteurized cider can even start to ferment and turn into hard cider over time.

  

People tend to think of apple juice as something you drink from a sippy cup whereas, cider, a drink to be enjoyed heated up with some cinnamon or mixed with some rum or brandy.  The nutritional value of each is about the same.  Apple juice tends to cost less and is available year round.  Outside of the United States, cider usually refers to a fermented, alcoholic beverage.

Let's do a side by side comparison.  I will try them straight, with booze and heated up with cinnamon.

Straight up, cider has a lot more character than juice and is much more enjoyable to drink.  Cider tends to be thicker and the flavor varies more than that of juice.

With booze:  I mixed cider and juice with Captain Morgan Sherry Oak Finish Spiced Rum.  I love mixing booze with cider.  I have also used brandy, apple brandy, sour apple liqueur and whiskey.  This is my first time mixing alcohol with apple juice.  As expected, the spiced rum mixes better with the cider.  It is dangerously good!  The rum seems to enhance the taste of the cider whereas, it takes away from the taste of the juice.

Heated up with cinnamon:  This is a great way to enjoy cider, often with some spirits added.  This is my first time trying apple juice heated up.  I think the flavor of both was enhanced by heating up and adding cinnamon but the cider reigned supreme and is my choice for WINNER!

Next time, I review Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Liqueur.  Apple cider may make an appearance.  Get yer drink on and crunch on people!

Day 50- Zestar! and Apples: A Headbanger's Journey

Today's apple is the Zestar!  This is also my 50th apple blog, hooray!  It seems like only 7 months, 18 days since I wrote my 25th apple blog about the Canadian and very polite Aurora apple.  How time marches on, for whom the bell tolls!  To commemorate this glorious occasion, here is a link to my song about all things apples, Apples: A Headbanger's Journey.  https://thenighthowls1.bandcamp.com/track/apples-a-headbangers-journey  Thanks to anyone who has read my blog, you are truly good people and I want to have your babies!  Don't worry, this is a legit link to The Night Howls (my band) bandcamp page.  There are lyrics on there as well.  Please check it out if you like apples or Metal music or clicking on links in general, if you are like Rum Tum Tugger, a curious cat!

Now the Zestar!,  also known as the Minnewasheta.   It was used in combination with the Honey Crisp to produce the last apple I reviewed, the SweeTango!  

The Zestar! was introduced in 1999, developed by the University of Minnesota.  It is a small, round, early season apple.  They ripen in late August to early September and have a shelf life about 2 months when refrigerated.  The color of the skin is usually 60 - 80% red with shaded cream yellow areas.

The Zestar! tastes alright.  It is juicy with a decent sweet/tart mix.  The growers claim the flavor has notes of brown sugar but I don't taste it, you are just ok but not bad, Minnewasheta apple!

Next time.  I do a comparison of apple cider and apple juice.  What is the difference,?  What's better for what?  Do we even give a shit?  Find out soon, thank's for reading and crunch on!