Day 38 - Sun-Maid dried Washington Apples

They are not fresh.  They are dried ... apples!  Sun-Maid dried Washington Apples are made using only the highest quality Washington apples.  They are orchard-ripened to the peak of their flavor, picked, sliced, carefully, oh so carefully dried and sealed into 5-ounce zipper bags to lock in freshness.

I found they had a pleasant level of stickiness and a shape that allowed me to stick them to my face as a mustache or eye brows!  With a little makeup, you could probably make them into a good fake scar as well.

I could not find out what specific variety of apple they are made from but they are tasty!  I like them on their own, in oatmeal, on my face or on cereal.  The only added ingredients are Potassium Metabisulfite and Sodium Sulfite as preservatives. They are healthier than cookies or chips so that's good.

In conclusion, they are better than raisins.  Tomorrow, I review Marzetti Peanut Butter Caramel Dip! for apples.  Crunch on!

Day 37 - Organic Braeburn and Dreams

Today's apple is the organic version of my old friend, from the 1990's, the Braeburn.  It is a good apple, this one is a good apple.  I would place it somewhere in the middle if I were ranking them, sweet, juicy, tart and fairly firm.

I would not be doing this blog today if not for the Braeburn.  As I said in my Day 9 review,  I was on lunch break at work at the Fox affiliate in Rochester, NY around 1997.  I brought an apple for lunch that day, not realizing it would be the best apple I had every eaten.  It was such a good apple, sweet, juicy, tart, just the right level of firmness and most importantly, that fragrant, floral quality that I had never experienced in an apple!  It was like the apple had been injected with rose water, wow!  It was like looking God in the face!  My legs buckled, I dropped my chips and they literally fell in slow motion.  I screamed, "Oh my God!" and then passed out.

I awoke, face down in a pile of broken chips and dreams to Ted the janitor emptying the trash.  I surveyed the room carefully but any evidence of the Braeburn's existence was gone.  I grabbed Ted by the leg and pleaded, "have you seen ... an apple?"  He said, "no" and pulled away quite rudely. Maybe the whole thing was a dream.  I have been chasing that dragon ever since.

Tomorrow, I review Sun Made brand dried Washington apples.  Crunch on!

Day 36 - Apple Butter Streusel Muffins

Today's review is for a homemade Apple Butter Streusel Muffin.  My wife Laura found the recipe online but added a little candied ginger to the steusel and this muffin is the bomb-diggity!  She executed the recipe flawlessly and it is so good.  The muffin has some cinnamon and nutmeg in the batter.  It has a layer of apple butter, a steusel topping and a apple cider glaze.  Good shit, yo.  Apple-eee and hot-damn!  Here is a link to the recipe:  https://www.tastesoflizzyt.com/apple-butter-streusel-muffins/

Tomorrow, I review the last actual apple I will review for a while.  It is an Organic Braeburn.  I looked for apples at some stores yesterday I hadn't been to before.  I went to Cermak Fresh Market. They had the biggest produce department I have ever seen but no apples I hadn't tried.  I went to Pacific Produce, nothing new.  I found an Organic Braeburn at a new Sendik's store on Miller Park Way.  This will be tomorrow's review.  I will have to wait for the next growing season for some new apples.  Crunch on!

Day 35 - Can't you feel it coming? EMPIRE

Today's apple is the Empire.  I hear Geoff Tate's voice every time I say it!  This is a very petite and pretty apple.  Look at the second photo ... Those are Ranier cherries, it looks very similar, neat!

The Empire originated in Geneva, NY in 1945.  It is the offspring of  a McIntosh and Red Delicious.

My specimen was juicy, firm, crunchy, sweet and a little tart.  Not bad, New York state represent yo!

So, I have now gone through all the varieties of apples I have been able to find this growing season.  I am checking out Cermak Fresh Market tomorrow.  Unless I can find a different type there, I will be moving on to other fabulous apple products!  Coming up:  Apple Butter Battle!, Marzetti Peanut Butter Caramel Apple Dip, home-made Apple Butter Streusel Muffins, dried apples, apple cinnamon bagels, Apple Toaster Strudel and Apple Jacks.  Tune in next time to find out what's next and crunch the fuck on!

Day 34 - Organic Fuji

Today's apple is the Organic Fuji.  I reviewed the Fuji on day 6 and it was a great apple, a model citizen of applehood!  This organic one is not nearly as good.  It's like half the flavor and one third of the crispiness and one eighth of the soul has been sucked out of it.

With the exception of the Organic Red Delicious, the organic apples I have tried so far have not been as good as their chemical laden counterparts.  Mother Nature, Father Time and Baby New Year might be better off if all apples were organic but my experience says otherwise.

While I write this, I am listening to the January 2017 release Weapons of Thrash Destruction by the Canadian band Terrifier.  As far as straight forward thrash goes, this shit is extreme!  I like it, major speed and chops but it would probably get tiresome to listen to all 43 minutes start to finish.

Tomorrow, I will try to have a New York state of mind for my review of the Empire apple.  Crunch on! 

Day 33 - Organic Golden Delicious

Today's apple is the Organic Golden Delicious.   Full disclosure, I skipped my apple blog the last two days!  I was a little tired after narrowly escaping drowning on Sunday and I've been worried about the neighbor's cat, I hope you are alright. (the cat likes my blog)  Still, I shouldn't have skipped the number 1 review of apples in southeastern Menomonee Falls!

I thought about punishing myself by doing today's review in the old, spooky, abandoned mine on old man Miller's property on the outskirts of town.  I'd have to get past the bulls and the dog and bring tools to pry off the old boards covering the entrance.  I'd have to risk life and limb, potential for cave-in's, suffocation, snake, spider, bat or chupacabra bites!  I decided just to give myself a good verbal lashing,  I called myself every name in the book!

Anyway, my Organic Golden Delicious is not that great.  It's pretty crisp but doesn't have much flavor.  I know what it needs, Marzetti Peanut Butter Caramel Dip!  That's better, yum-o! (as annoying Rachael Ray used to say all the time on her old show, $40 a Day)

The Organic Golden Delicious is in my belly.  I am listening to the new Mastodon: Emperor of Sand on youtube, kick ass, This is good apple eating music!

Tomorrow, I review the Organic Fuji.  Crunch on!

Day 32 - Wet, Drowning, Ida Red

Rolling thunder, pouring rain.  It's coming on like a hurricane, white lightnings flashing across the sky.  I hope eating this Ida Red in the rain ain't gonna cause me to die!

I skipped my apple blog yesterday.  For punishment, I did today's apple review in the rain.  It was a torrential downpour.  I could feel the electricity in the air.  As my yard began to flood, I was swept away from my house.  I was gasping for breath, trying not to let the water fill my lungs, so cold.  I was about to give up when an old door floated by with the neighbor's cat on it.  I frantically was able to pull myself up onto the door.  Unfortunately, this caused the cat to go flying with a big kerplunk!

With my last bit of strength, I was able to doggy paddle and grab kittie by the paw.  We looked into each other's eyes and had an instant psychic connection.  The cat was thinking, "You’re going to get out of this...you’re going to go on and you’re going to make babies and watch them grow and you’re going to die an old lady, warm in your bed. Not here...Not this night. Do you understand me?  Never let go!"  This seemed like a strange thing for a cat to think but ...  I'll go along with it.  "Good kittie, I promise I will never let go." I said.  With that, the cat extended it's claws, forcing me to let go!  It floated away into the unknown.  Thank you little fuzzy one.  I owe you my life.

The floods receded.  I made my way back inside, dried off and took a nap.  Now on to the review.  The Ida Red is a cross between a Jonathan and Wagener apple.  It was developed in Moscow, Idaho in the 1930's.  They are small to medium apples, quite round in shape.

I couldn't find a single one and had to buy a whole bag.  I have a LOT of apples around these days so I kept a few and brought the rest to work, where they were eaten posthaste, as free food at work always is.  I like the Ida Red.  Mine was firm and tangy.  It had a beautiful, uniform round shape and red color, though most of them are red and green.  The white flesh inside had streaks of red.  My wife asked if my gums were bleeding!  They weren't.

This was a tough day.  I really need to stop punishing myself for skipping blogs!  Tomorrow, I review the Organic Golden Delicious.  Crunch on and thanks neighbor's cat.  I hope you are alright ...