Day 56 - Spartan

Be strong young Spartan apple, like the warriors of ancient Greece.  You don't know who Daddy is but don't become another statistic, Mamma loves you!

Little Spartan went on The Jerry Springer Show with mother McIntosh.  For the longest time, he thought the cool, green, russeted Newtown Pippin from America was his father but lately, he was having doubts.  They were so different.  Jerry opened the envelope with the paternity test results.  The audience got very quiet, then the reveal... Newtown Pippin was not the father.  The crowd released a collective gasp that could be heard from the street.  Spartan cried, "How could you lie to me Mom?"  Mother McIntosh explained that she was young and times were different.  Mr. Pippin was a good father figure to Spartan and when he went away, she knew Newtown would not return.  She would rather Spartan think that Newtown Pippin was his father rather than having to figure out among the MANY other apples who it might be.

I am of course, kidding about the Jerry Springer part.  They don't have apple paternity tests on that show.  It was actually on The Maury Povich Show but it is true that until recently, it was thought that Spartan was a mix of the McIntosh and Newtown Pippin.  Recent DNA testing has ruled that out.  It is a mix of the McIntosh and an unknown variety.

The Spartan originated in 1936 from Summerland, British Columbia, Canada.  It is a small to medium apple.  They usually have a dark red skin with some patches of yellow.  The skin is thick and chewy.

My specimen was decent.  The skin took a lot of chewing, luckily, I have teeth.  The apple smelled very appily and it was juicy.  It didn't have a lot of flavor but there was a bit of a vinous or wine like quality to it.

Next time, I review the favorite apple of Imagine Dragons, the SnapDragon.  Crunch on!

Day 55 - Suncrisp

What huge apple secrets young Gary could have shared with me but I will never know because Gary is... dead!  Maybe he's not dead but he is missing.  His last words to me were, "Enjoy your Suncrisp apples sir."

It was October 23rd, the brisk feel of Fall permeating the air.  I went to Basse's Taste of Country, a great place to pick your own pumpkins, go for a hayride, get lost in their 8 acre corn maze (Gary, I'm just saying) or get some apples.

I entered the quaint country store filled with various jams/jellies, pickled things, pumpkins, apples, knick knacks and funny looking gourdes.  The room smelled of apple cider donuts and I would have got one or six if my visit hadn't ended so abruptly.  Perusing the apple section, I found mostly common apples like the Cortland and I wanted something more interesting.  I found a bag of Suncrisp apples that looked intriguing but I thought this place must have more to choose from, maybe in the back.

I went to the counter where a zit-faced teen with a Bieber haircut circa 2009 and a name tag that read: Gary, was manning the register.  He asked if I wanted the bag of apples I was holding and I said, "Yes, but what else do you got, where are the cool, experimental apples?  This place has acres of apple trees and it is prime season."  Our eyes met and I could see he was nervous and hiding something.  I said, "come on, show me the cool apples."  He claimed not to know what I was talking about but I pressed him like an apple in an apple press.  I got in his face and yelled, "Show me the fucking apples punk!"  He said, "Ok, keep it down.  I'll show you but it's gonna cost you."  I nodded in agreement.  I was willing to shell out phat stacks yo for artisinal apples.

We ventured into the back room, approaching a large crate.  There were some great specimens in that box, I could feel it!  Gary looked both ways nervously, we were just about to open the crate when I heard, "Stop right there, don't even think about opening that box!"  Three large gentlemen had entered the room, one with a shovel, one with a pitchfork and one with a machete.  They scolded Gary saying he should know better that nobody else is supposed to see this.  With eyes of daggers, they told Gary to say goodbye to the nice customer and told me I should leave now!  That is when Gary said, "Enjoy your Suncrisp apples sir."  I threw down five bucks and left.  As I was leaving, I heard Gary screaming, "no-no-no, I'm sorry, arrghhhh!"

I was a little concerned about Gary and returned to Basse's Taste of Country a few days later.  I asked the woman at the register if Gary was around.  She said no Gary had ever worked there.  I described him and stated I had been there a few days prior.  She said again more firmly that she had never worked with a Gary!  I bought an apple cider donut (it was delicious) and left.

Now for the review.  The Suncrisp was developed in New Jersey in 1994.  It is a mix of a Cortland, a Cox's Orange Pippin and a Golden Delicious.  They are small to medium in size and the skin is yellow with patches of red covering up to 40 percent of the fruit.  They don't brown easily and can be kept up to 6 months when refrigerated.  In fact, they are know to be sweeter and tastier after several weeks.

Wherever you are Gary, sorry if I got you in trouble.  If it's any consolation, know that I enjoy the Suncrisp apples you sold me, thanks dude!

Next time, I review the Spartan apple.  Crunch on, do it for Gary!

Day 54 - Apple Pie OREO

Today's review is of the limited edition Apple Pie Oreo!  There have been many special flavors of the Oreo over the years.  I am a sucker for trying them and I do mean sucker as most of them are not very good but they look and sound great!  Here is a list and description of all the Oreo flavors that have come out I found at teenvogue.com.  The person on that site ranked them in order of their preference.  It does not reflect my preference.  I indicate with a 🔺 which ones I have tried.

55. Peeps. This was a terrible idea. Plus, they turned some people's poop pink.

54. Swedish Fish. I really don't have much to say here other than the fact that no one asked for this.

53. Back to School. Probably created for teachers looking to bribe their students into liking them. Nobody likes propaganda. You cannot win my love with cookies!!! (You totally can, but my point stands.)

52. The seasonal Oreos. Spring, Summer, and Winter Oreos taste like any other regular Oreo, but have food coloring and fancy designs on the cookie. They're not terrible, per se, but I don't need a cookie to tell me what time of the year it is. Do you?

51. American Creme. A golden Oreo with red and blue frosting stripes, meant to evoke the 4th of July, I guess. (If you cannot tell by my tone, I am not impressed.)

🔺 50. Halloween. Halloween Oreos only get a slightly higher ranking because the orange and black motif* sticks more closely to the Halloween theme than some arbitrary blue frosting does "summer." 

*(The fact that Oreo has not, to the best of my knowledge and Googling, created an chocolate and orange-flavored Oreo is a travesty of epic proportions.)

49. Lemon Twist. We'll get to Lemon Oreos in a second, but Lemon Twist Oreos featured lemon filling paired with the original chocolate cookie. Do you like lemon and chocolate together? If so, good for you. I don't.

🔺48. Watermelon. If you want to taste a watermelon flavor, eat a watermelon. I'll even give you a pass with watermelon candy! Not a cookie. 

🔺47. Heads or Tails. I get the theory of combining both an original and a golden Oreo into one cookie. But wouldn't you just want to buy a pack of each? 

🔺46. Marshmallow Crispy. These were not entirely offensive, but too sweet and also featured little flecks of crisped rice that felt like someone had gotten grit in the filling. No, thank you. 

🔺45. Candy Corn. If you wanted to eat candy corn, wouldn't you... just ... eat... candy corn?

44. Cotton Candy. I get that it's not exactly easy to buy cotton candy at the store but isn't its theme-park novelty part of what makes it special? There's no need to take a good thing and mass produce it like this.

43. Fruit Punch. The Kool-Aid Man deserves better.

42. Rainbow Sherbet. Stop trying to make fruit-adjacent Oreos happen! They're not going to happen! (We'll get to the real fruit Oreos soon. Those are actually worth discussing.)

🔺41. Root Beer Float. A disclaimer: I am not the kind of person who would willingly opt for a root beer float under normal circumstances, but I can sort of see the appeal here?

🔺40. Mint. A shock and surprise, true, but there are reasons. See no. 18.

39. Inside Out. People who prefer golden cookies and chocolate filling are probably the same people who think there's a difference between French Vanilla and Vanilla ice cream. I don't trust them.

38. Caramel Apple. There is only so much sweetness I can handle in a cookie before it hurts. These just barely pass that threshold.

37. Choco Chip. Other people make these, too. They're called chocolate chip cookies.

36. Strawberries and Cream. Call me a heretic but strawberry-flavored food just isn't the same as an actual strawberry.

35. Fruity Crisp. Points deducted for the fact that, like Marshmallow Crispy, these Oreos feel like someone got sand in your frosting. But I'll never say no to funfetti, and these are basically the same concept, but breakfast.

34. Banana Split. I see the merit in making a banana split more portable, but if you want one of those, why not go big or go home, y'know?

🔺33. Red Velvet. The cream cheese filling is a great concept, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired.

🔺32. Golden Oreos. These are fine, I guess?

31. Waffles and Syrup.

🔺30. Jelly Donut.

🔺29. Cinnamon Bun.

The breakfast Oreos, as I like to call them, are being grouped together because while they each have their own talking points, the fact of the matter is that they're an excuse to eat Oreos for breakfast. Unfortunately, however, they're also really, really sweet, and any cookie that is too sweet for me to eat more than 3 in one sitting is way too sweet.

28. Blueberry Pie. Part of the joy of pie is the mix of the juicy filling and the flaky pastry. This isn't a bad cookie, but it doesn't necessarily approximate pie.

27. Berry Oreos. Your mom probably loves these. (This is not a "your mom" joke. Moms just like these kinds of cookies.)

26. DQ Blizzard. A Cookies and Cream Oreo under a different name, the only thing going against these is that they were discontinued.

25. Firework. Do you like Pop Rocks? Then you'll love this cookie that feels like it's literally attacking your mouth!!!

🔺24. Apple Pie. See Blueberry Pie, no. 28.

23. Gingerbread. Actual Gingerbread cookies are more fun, especially when they come in fun people shapes and you can bite random limbs off like you did when you were 5.

🔺22. Chocolate. I get it, I do. I really do. I also just don't feel any kind of way about these. But I do know I like them better than Golden Oreos, so there's that.

21. Filled Cupcake. Like a chocolate Oreo but slightly fancier? Seems extra, TBH.

🔺20. Original Oreo. Love ya, lil buddy, but as other flavors have proven, you can improve upon perfection sometimes.

19. White Fudge. A standard Oreo covered in white fudge. This is really decadent, but also kind of cheating?

18. Triple Double Chocolate Mint. While I docked points from the original Mint Oreo, the collaboration of chocolate and mint flavors should happen more often, so this one gets far higher rankings.

17. Strawberry Shortcake. Given the stipulation that strawberry-flavored things tend to taste worse than IRL strawberries, these should be ranked lower, and yet they're not bad?

🔺16. Creamsicle.

🔺15. Lemon.

14. Limeaid.

Three citrus fruits, one uniform golden Oreo cookie. Limeaid is the best but I'm also saying that because I love a good Key Lime Pie. Which brings us to...

🔺13. Key Lime Pie. This time, with a graham cracker cookie! It took me weeks to hunt these down. Those weeks were worth it.

🔺12. Cookies and Cream. I like to call these cannibal cookies because it's an Oreo with a filling made from Oreos that didn't make the cut. It's great. I have no complaints.

🔺11. Coconut. Literally the only bad thing about these is that they come in one size: Oreo Thins. The people deserve a full-sized coconut Oreo.

10. Mississippi Mud Pie. This one gets higher rankings that plain old chocolate because it adds a whipped cream swirl for contrast. Points awarded for going big, not for going home.

9. Brownie Batter. This is so much chocolate it's almost embarrassing. But it leans all the way into its chocolatey goodness and I respect that dedication.

8. Peanut Butter. These are frustratingly more difficult to find than they should be, but almost always worth it.

7. Cookie Dough. All the fun of actual cookie dough, none of the concerns that you could get salmonella. Everyone wins!

🔺6. Pumpkin Spice. You can either resist pumpkin spice every fall, or you can give into it. These are way betthe er than your favorite latte, though possibly less Instagrammable.

🔺5. Dunkin Donuts Mocha. Pair these with any of the breakfast Oreos and you have yourself a complete, well-rounded meal. (If only because Oreos are, well, round.) But honestly, coffee-flavored Oreos should be an official flavor.

🔺4. S'mores. These actually taste like S'mores, thanks to the graham cracker crust and marshmallow filling. Can you roast them at a campfire? Sadly, no. (I've tried.) Can you use them to sandwich a marshmallow to create a S'mores s'more? Yes, you can. (I've tried.)

🔺3. Birthday Cake. Food that has been given the funfetti treatment will never not be great. More foods should attempt to be funfetti.

🔺2. Candy Cane. Does it make sense that these are so much better than the Mint Oreos? No, not really. But they are, and it's probably because my brain equates them with the holidays and winter. This is the one seasonal cookie I will allow in my grocery cart.

🔺1.Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Take a chocolate Oreo. Now take a peanut butter Oreo. Put them together, and you have a sum that is far superior to its parts. If you find a store that sells these, buy them all, and then text me so I can buy the next shipment, too.

The above list is just for Oreos that have been sold in America.  More flavors have come out in other countries such as Green Tea, Orange-Mango and Dulce De Leche.

The Oreo cookie was developed by the National Biscuit Company (known today as Nabisco) in 1912.  In case you didn't know, the Oreo consists of two wafer cookies with a cream filling.  Beyond that, the variation of cookie and cream flavors is endless.

The Apple Pie Oreo consists of graham cracker cookies with a spiced apple cream.  The graham cracker cookie is a little less sweet than the regular vanilla cookie.  The creme tasted of apples with some cinnamon and caramel, not too bad.  I dipped one into apple cider, never thought I'd do that with an Oreo.  That made it a bit sweet but 'twas ok.

I think with Oreos, you can't beat the original.  I have to say, I was skeptical but the new Oreo Thins are good, they have the right proportions and even more crunch!

Alright, next time I'm back to actual apples with the Suncrisp.  Shine on you crazy diamond and also, crunch on!

Day 53 - Sweetie

Today's apple is the Sweetie.  It is a sexy apple that could easily hang with the head turning Envy, the jaw dropping Smitten, the sophisticated Lady Alice or the big pimpin' Jazz apple!  See previous reviews of these beauties!

The Sweetie is a New Zealand apple that debuted in 2005.  It was developed by combining the Gala and Braeburn.  Two other New Zealand apples that were developed from the Gala and the Braeburn were the Jazz (sophisticated and cool Daddy-O) and the Envy (sweet and sultry).

Sweetie apples have an oblong shape that is narrower on the bottom and the color is a mix of yellow and red.  Washington state was the first state in the US to grow them but now they are grown in several states.

Oh my darling Sweetie, I hope to see you again, so sweet so juicy!

Next time on An Apple a Day, I review the Apple Pie Oreo!  I have got suckered into trying many Oreo flavors (they all look so good) so I had to try this one.  C is for cookie and that's good enough for me.  Crunch on!

Day 52 - Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur and Drink Wisconsinably

Today's review is of Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur.  It is normally priced at Otto's (where I buy my booze) at $9.99 but it was on sale for $4.99 so I had to try it.

Along with apples, I do like booze.  Here is a link to a song my band The Night Howls did about drinking:  https://thenighthowls1.bandcamp.com/track/drink-wisconsinably  Check it out!

Onto the review.  Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur was introduced in 2013.  Apple liqueurs are common but apple cream liqueurs are rare.  This is the only one I've seen in person.  FH Apple Pie is made with neutral grain spirits and natural flavors from apple, caramel, brown sugar and cinnamon.  It is bottled at 25 proof in Bardstown, Kentucky and is only available September through November.  It pours a light tan color and has a good apple pie aroma.  It has a soft and creamy mouth feel and is quite sweet.

 Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur tastes ok.  My biggest complaint, it doesn't taste enough of apples.  Fulton's Harvest also makes a Pumpkin Pie Cream Liqueur and I suspect it tastes very similar.  I taste a lot of those Fall baking spice flavors that also go with pumpkin.

I'm sure that FH Apple Pie would work well in mixed drinks and I came up with one that I liked.  I mixed 2 parts Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Cream Liqueur with 2 parts apple cider and 1 part Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum served on the rocks.  The apple cider brings the apple flavor it so desperately needs and the rum, some kick!  The cider also made the drink thicker.

Next time Apple Reader, I review the Sweetie apple.  Crunch on!

Day 51 - Apple Cider vs Apple Juice

Today, the battle royal!  I scoured the mean streets of Milwaukee to ask the question, apple cider or apple juice?  I asked one person, myself and this is what I discovered...

Apple cider is made from apples that are washed, cut and ground into an "apple mash" similar to applesauce. The mash is then wrapped in cloth and pressed into fresh juice. The official description from the Massachusetts Department of Agriculture says cider is "raw apple juice that has not undergone a filtration process to remove coarse particles of pulp or sediment."

On the other hand, apple juice undergoes filtration to remove pulp and is then pasteurized to extend the shelf life. Vacuum sealing and additional filtering help it stay fresh even longer.

Apple juice can sit unopened in your cabinet for months, but apple cider is perishable and should be refrigerated. Unpasteurized cider can even start to ferment and turn into hard cider over time.

  

People tend to think of apple juice as something you drink from a sippy cup whereas, cider, a drink to be enjoyed heated up with some cinnamon or mixed with some rum or brandy.  The nutritional value of each is about the same.  Apple juice tends to cost less and is available year round.  Outside of the United States, cider usually refers to a fermented, alcoholic beverage.

Let's do a side by side comparison.  I will try them straight, with booze and heated up with cinnamon.

Straight up, cider has a lot more character than juice and is much more enjoyable to drink.  Cider tends to be thicker and the flavor varies more than that of juice.

With booze:  I mixed cider and juice with Captain Morgan Sherry Oak Finish Spiced Rum.  I love mixing booze with cider.  I have also used brandy, apple brandy, sour apple liqueur and whiskey.  This is my first time mixing alcohol with apple juice.  As expected, the spiced rum mixes better with the cider.  It is dangerously good!  The rum seems to enhance the taste of the cider whereas, it takes away from the taste of the juice.

Heated up with cinnamon:  This is a great way to enjoy cider, often with some spirits added.  This is my first time trying apple juice heated up.  I think the flavor of both was enhanced by heating up and adding cinnamon but the cider reigned supreme and is my choice for WINNER!

Next time, I review Fulton's Harvest Apple Pie Liqueur.  Apple cider may make an appearance.  Get yer drink on and crunch on people!

Day 50- Zestar! and Apples: A Headbanger's Journey

Today's apple is the Zestar!  This is also my 50th apple blog, hooray!  It seems like only 7 months, 18 days since I wrote my 25th apple blog about the Canadian and very polite Aurora apple.  How time marches on, for whom the bell tolls!  To commemorate this glorious occasion, here is a link to my song about all things apples, Apples: A Headbanger's Journey.  https://thenighthowls1.bandcamp.com/track/apples-a-headbangers-journey  Thanks to anyone who has read my blog, you are truly good people and I want to have your babies!  Don't worry, this is a legit link to The Night Howls (my band) bandcamp page.  There are lyrics on there as well.  Please check it out if you like apples or Metal music or clicking on links in general, if you are like Rum Tum Tugger, a curious cat!

Now the Zestar!,  also known as the Minnewasheta.   It was used in combination with the Honey Crisp to produce the last apple I reviewed, the SweeTango!  

The Zestar! was introduced in 1999, developed by the University of Minnesota.  It is a small, round, early season apple.  They ripen in late August to early September and have a shelf life about 2 months when refrigerated.  The color of the skin is usually 60 - 80% red with shaded cream yellow areas.

The Zestar! tastes alright.  It is juicy with a decent sweet/tart mix.  The growers claim the flavor has notes of brown sugar but I don't taste it, you are just ok but not bad, Minnewasheta apple!

Next time.  I do a comparison of apple cider and apple juice.  What is the difference,?  What's better for what?  Do we even give a shit?  Find out soon, thank's for reading and crunch on!

Day 49 - SweeTango

Today's apple is the captivating and sensuous SweeTango!  The official website says it will make your taste buds dance.  We will see.

SweeTango is a brand name of the Minneiska and is a registered trademark owned by the University of Minnesota.  It was developed by marrying the Honeycrisp and the Minnewasheta (brand name Zestar!).

SweeTango is pretty in pink with a yellow background and splotches of red.  It often has spots, also known as lenticels.  The name was chosen to emphasize the sweet and tangy taste.  Like the Honeycrisp, the Minneiska has much larger cells than most apples, which shatter when bitten to fill the mouth with juice.  It has a good shelf life of 4-5 months when refrigerated.

I enjoyed my SweeTango.  It had the desirable crispness and snappiness of a Honeycrisp.  When I say snappiness, I mean when you take a bite, the piece breaks off very cleanly in your mouth.  It was quite juicy with a thin skin.  The flavor however, did not make my taste buds dance.  It was a little more tart than a Honeycrisp, which is intentional but it lacked character.  I have tried a couple others with the same result.  The SweeTango is still an above average dancer and she does look nice!

My next blog will be number 50!  To celebrate, I will post a link to a song I recorded with my band The Night Howls all about apples called Apples: A Headbanger's Journey!  I will also review an apple I mentioned in today's review, the Zestar!  Crunch on!

Day 48 - Haralson

Today's apple is the Haralson.  I took a picture of this one upside down as the bottom was prettier than the top.  That's what she said!  Is the Haralson the Woody Harrelson of apples? 

Originating from Excelsior, Minnesota in 1913, the Haralson is the offspring of the Malinda and Wealthy apple.  The Haralson and Golden Delicious were used to develop the Honeygold.

The Haralson is quite round and usually more red than the one pictured above and may have stripes.  They have a great shelf life.  In the refrigerator, they can last for 4-5 months!  There is a redder version called the Haralred. 

My eating specimen was nice and crisp with a good bite.  The flavor was mild but not unpleasant with little tartness.  It was not a juicy apple.  The flesh was bright white and the skin was thin to medium.  I would eat one again.  So there you go, the Woody Harrelson of apples, yes!

Next time, I review another Minnesota apple.  Get your dancing shoes on for the lovely SweeTango, crunch on!

Day 47 - Rome

Today's variety is the Rome apple.  Rome apples are usually solid bright to deep red in color although this one was not.  They are available in Fall and early Winter.  Rome apples are considered one of the best cooking apples on the market.  Their dense flesh and thick skin allows them to hold up well in shape and texture while cooking and the process enhances the flavor and sweetness as well.

The Rome apple was named after Rome township, Ohio where it was first planted in 1817.  Today it is grown in apple regions all over the United States.

The flavor of my Rome was subtle, not as flashy, sweet or tart as some varieties but it is known as a cooking/baking apple.  I ate a third of it and gave the rest to my wife for an apple chutney she is making to serve with roasted pork and root vegetables.  It should be yummy!  The recipe she found for the chutney called for Galas and Granny Smiths but she forgot to buy them.  "Damn it woman!" I thought loudly but did not say.  By some miracle, (Am I being sarcastic?  Yes.) I had some apples around.  She used the Rome and some Zestar apples.  They should be good for this.  I already know the shit is going to be killer, no doubt!

Next time, I review the Haralson apple.  Crunch on!

Day 46 - Jonathan

Today's apple is the Jonathan.  It has a person's name and this one had a cool stripe.  "Looking sharp Jon!  May I call you Jon?" I said to my apple.

Peace and love and apples!  The Jonathan originated as a chance seedling in Woodstock, NY in 1826.  It received it's name by Jesse Buel, president of the Albany Horticultural Society.  He named it after Jonathan Hasbrouck, who introduced him to the apple.

The Jonathan is a classic American heirloom that has been parent to Jonamac, Jonafree and Jonigold.  It was one of the most popular apples in American in the early 20th century.

The Jonathan apple is medium sized and covered in a thin red skin, blushed with yellow to green undertones. Fruit from trees that have limited sun exposure during the ripening process will often have vertical red striping and subtle lenticels (spots) on the skin. Trees that are exposed to more sun will take on a deeper red to purple hue. The fine textured flesh of the Jonathon apple is creamy yellow in color with a crisp bite and lots of juice. Its flavor is mildly sweet with a tart tang and subtle hints of spice.

I like the Jonathan.  It is similar to a McIntosh, Cortland or Jonagold.  It has a classic, fresh, NY apple taste.

Next time, I review an apple that was not built in a day, the Rome apple.  Crunch on!

Day 45 - Apple Pie Bread Pudding

I was at the TPPT, Six Wives of Richard and Remod show at Frank's Power Plant.  It seemed like a normal night at the rock 'n roll show.  My friend Marc Ferch was there.  He plays bass in the band, Bad Bread.  I don't even recall how it came up but Marc mentioned that his cousin or sister or something worked with businesses to supply food to the homeless.  Every couple weeks, she would get a bunch of bread from a high-end bakery.  They found that the soft bread worked better for the homeless because many of them had missing or bad teeth so she would be left with a ton of good crusty, toothsome bread.  She would offer this leftover bread to friends and family so Marc always had a bread hookup.  Marc said he had some in the car that night if I'd like some.  I said, "fuck yeah, I'd like some bread!"

I must emphasize the fact that Marc being in a band called Bad Bread has nothing to do with this story.  He had nothing to do with naming the band, weird!  So we ventured out into the dark alley where he was parked.  Marc opened the back seat car door and lifted the lid off of a huge plastic bin the size of a hope chest.  Inside were loaves of many shapes and sizes.  There were baguettes as long as walking sticks, round loaves of rye practically as big as tires, football shaped sourdough, lots of bread and not bad bread yo!  I took a good looking loaf of white bread that looked right for sandwiches and a football of sourdough.  A few people came over during our exchange to see what kind of back alley deal was transpiring and walked away richer with dough as well.  

I told my wife Laura the amazing, yeasty tale and she had a great suggestion for something to do with one of the loaves.  Aware of my love for apples, she found a recipe for a Apple Pie Bread Pudding and so it came to be!  

She cut the loaf of white bread into cubes and combined it with home-made custard and apple pie seasoning.  The recipe called for five Gala apples but a Jonathan apple had found it's way into the Gala bin so he wound up in the pudding as well.  What Jonathan wouldn't want to hang with the cool kid Galas.  The liquid the apples cooked in was poured over as a sauce.

I put a scoop of Blue Bunny Vanilla Bean ice cream on top with a shake of cinnamon and hot-damn, so hearty and yumm-o!  

The Apple Pie Bread Pudding was not too sweet but was rich with flavor.  The Galas and the Jonathan stowaway cooked nicely while retaining some crunch.  The right bread, the right cook and some good ice cream and voilà!  Thanks Laura and Marc.

The next time a shady character says there might be some dough in it for you if you step into a dark, creepy alley with them, say sure, what's the worst that could happen!

Next time, I review the Jonathan.  Crunch on!

Day 44 - Marzetti Peanut Butter Carmel Dip! and Memories of Youth

Today's blog is about Marzetti Peanut Butter Caramel Dip!  This stuff is connected to a very specific memory for me.  I got my first apartment in 1993 my Senior year of college and for sustenance, what stands out to me at that time was a lot of beer, free pizzas brought home from Pizza Hut where I worked and Marzetti Peanut Butter Carmel Dip! with apples.  I picked up a container of this stuff and just fell in love with it and ate a lot of it!  let me set the scene.

I rented the upstairs unit of a crappy old house at 52 King Street in Brockport, NY.  It was the Summer preceding my Senior year of college and I was excited to have my own place.  There were a few bars on King Street so it was often loud at bar time as the students stumbled home.  It was a hot summer and I did not have air conditioning so the windows were always open.  My kitchen had no cupboards so I put up a plastic shelving unit to keep plates and whatnot.  There was no closet in the bedroom so I would keep some clothes in the kitchen closet.  I found myself feeling off balance sometimes and did not realize until I'd been there a few weeks that the house was on a slant.  I looked at the window sill one day and noticed it was not at all level with the floor.  I had to move my bed to another wall because the blood was rushing to my head at night. what a rush!

I was only a casual apple eater at the time but once I discovered Marzetti Peanut Butter Carmel Dip!, I wound up eating a lot of them with this dip.  My fiancee at the time, Laura moved in with me later that Summer and she could cook!  Until then, I existed on a limited menu: apples, dip, pizza, beer, hot dogs with beans, chips, fast food, that's all I can remember.

We had a terrible neighbor living downstairs from us.  Was she a witch, a demon, Miss Trailer Trash 1993?  Whatever she was was bad!  The above sketch is of Cyndra the horrible!  As you can see, she was VERY skinny and as the angry eyebrows suggest, she was pissed off and mean!  She was constantly yelling at her kids and had an obnoxious, smoky laugh that shook the rafters and was probably sinking the house into the ground!

One night she had some people over around 3am, pumping tunes.  I pounded on the floor and asked her to keep it down, she cranked up the noise further and yelled that we were the ones who were loud.  We heard a commotion another night and she had some people over helping her to move her possessions out, trying to skip out on her rent. We called the landlord on that shrieking Hell Hound.  He came right over.  Cyndra moved out soon after and for the next year or so that we lived there, the downstairs was vacant.  She had trashed the place and the landlord hadn't gotten around yet to fixing it up so peace came to the slanty, storage deficient kingdom of 52 king Street where Marzetti Peanut Butter Carmel Dip!, love and Rock 'n Roll lived on!

So Marzetti Peanut Butter Carmel Dip! is great, especially with a tart apple.  I ate it today with a Pippin.  If you don't like peanut butter, there is a straight caramel or low-fat caramel version of the dip also.  It is awesome heated up in the microwave.

Laura is planning to make Apple Pie Bread Pudding with Gala apples and that will probably be my next review.  Crunch on and live damn-it!

Day 43 - Pippin

Today's apple is the Pippin, also known as the Newtown Pippin or Albemarle Pippin.  It is one of the oldest apple varieties in the United States, discovered as a chance seedling in Newtown, NY in 1730.  The Pippin is said to have been a favorite of Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, and Ben Franklin.  Lin-Manuel Miranda could have written a song about it!

Light green or yellow in color, the Pippin is often splashed with orange or red russetted highlights. It is quite tart and known as a good cooking apple.  However, in modern times, it has been eclipsed by the Granny Smith, which is more handsome or pretty or sexy, and is less susceptible to browning or russetting.

This is a big apple!  The picture above shows it next to a Cortland and Pear Apple.  I work at the Fox affiliate in Milwaukee.  We had Barthel Fruit Farm on our morning show.  They brought a few of these and this was the smallest one!  The Pippin is big as a baby's head.  It is known by some as the Baby Head apple.  By some, I mean me but if I thought it, then someone else may have.  My point is, it's HUGE!  You wouldn't need too many of these to make a pie.

I thought the Pippin tasted ok.  Again, I think it is better for baking, quite tart, a thick skin that will keep it from breaking down too soon and it is kind of mealy. 

I saved half of my Pippin.  It will actually go well with the product that I will review next, Marzetti Peanut Butter Carmel Dip for apples.  This product and I go back a long way to my 1st apartment while in college and it's story is filled with intrigue and drama!  Tune in next time and crunch on!!!!!

Day 42 - Cortland

Today's apple is the Cortland.  It originated in Geneva, New York in 1898.  It has long been one of the most produced apples in the state.  I lived in New York for a number of years and my parents were born there.  When I started this blog and asked my mom about apples to review, she immediately thought of the Cortland.

The Cortland is a hybrid of the McIntosh and Ben Davis.  It is generally a medium size and the shape is slightly squished or flattened on top and round.  It's a purdy apple, golden with flushes, streaks and stripes of bright red.

Being slow to brown, the Cortland is great for slicing or adding to salads.  It does however, have a short shelf life so stop dilly dallying and eat your damn apple!

The crisp, finely-grained white flesh is exceptionally juicy with a sharp, sweet-tart, vinous flavor. Other than the skin being a little thick for my liking, this apple is alright by me.  Happy Birthday Kat, you are not a complete disappointment!

The Cortland has a fresh, all-American quality that makes me think about playing outside or trick-or-treating in the Fall as a kid and watching Little House on the Prairie.  Boy that Nellie Oleson sure was a bitch!

My next review will be of the GIGANTIC Pippin apple.  Crunch on!

Day 41 - Apple Pear

"This Apple Pear is F***ing delicious but is it a pear or is it an apple?", I said to myself while eating it and then I wrote it just now, quite lovely!

The Apple Pear or Asian Pear is not a pear/apple hybrid at all.  It is just a pear but with many of the good qualities of an apple.

Apple Pears are an old pear variety brought from China to the west coast during the gold rush days and have been cultivated in Asia for 3000 years.  They have a light-yellow or tan colored skin, white flesh and a shape like an apple.

Apple Pears ripen on the tree and are ready to eat when harvested unlike other types of pears where you have to wait forever for them to ripen, maybe utilizing a paper bag, storing them room temperature, crossing your fingers, praying, using voodoo, continually squeezing them.  As the skin of your average pear gets more brown, battered and bruised, you might take a bite and realize it's still not ready or you've waited too long, aarrrrgh!  Finding the right window to eat it sometimes seems like a pain in the ass!

Apple Pears have a great shelf life.  They will be fine 10 to 14 days at room temperature and 3 to 4 weeks in the refrigerator and they are slow to brown when cut open.

In Chinese medicine, Apple Pears are used for detoxification, coughs, laryngitis, ulcers and constipation.

Even though it is not an apple, this early Fall fruit is phat stacks good, yo!  It has a thin skin with a snappy, crisp bite.  It is juicy and has a slight floral aroma.  The flavor is that of a good pear with medium sweetness and notes of honeydew and Honey Crisp apple.  Try one of these damn things, I think you'll like it!

My next blog will feature the Cortland.  Crunch on!

Day 40 - Paula Red

Today's apple is the Paula Red, also called Paulared.  It started as a chance seedling discovered near a McIntosh orchard In Sparta Township, Michigan in 1960.  They are very round apples, on the small side, a red color with splotches of yellow.  The Paula Red has thick skin.  The flesh starts out crisp but they get soft fast and can brown easily.

They are considered a great apple for making apple sauce because they soften quickly while baking.

The flavor is sweet but a little more on the tart side, not terribly juicy.  I found the texture quite mealy and I'm not a fan of thick skin on an apple.  I have tried a couple other Paula Reds the last couple weeks that were not this mealy but my tasting notes are about THE apple I eat while writing the blog.  It is similar to a McIntosh, which has never been an apple I care for too much, even though my Day 5 review of said apple was better than I expected.

In conclusion, Paula Red, not an apple so much as a crapple!  It is better than the loathsome Red Delicious but not by much.  Use it for apple sauce.

Next time, I will review the exotic and mysterious Apple Pear.  Crunch on!

Day 39 - Lemonade and Vacation From Apples

Today's selection is the Lemonade apple.

My last Apple blog entry was April 16th, 2017.  I have taken quite a break from it.  The original concept was to eat a different apple or apple product and write about it every day.  I posted 38 entries and only skipped 4 days.  For those days I skipped, I punished myself by eating an apple in a blizzard (day 22), in a horrible storm (day 32) and the 3rd time when I skipped 2 days (day 33) I just gave myself a good beating and verbal lashing for my transgression.  If you read the blogs, you will see these were death-defying punishments.

I decided now that I'm doing the blog again, I am not going to pressure myself to do them every day but often.  I am however, going to try to eat an apple every day as they are delicious, nutritious and possibly holy.  It was the apple that tempted Adam and Eve to the point where they disobeyed God! Sure, the serpent was probably very convincing but those apples must have been something else!  I will have a post about ancient apples as there are many orchards that are trying to keep them from extinction.

During my hiatus from the blog, I traveled the world trying different fruits.  The above picture is from an exotic locale (possible Arvada CO).  I went nuts for bananas.  I ate melon, various berries, guava, papaya, dragon fruit, the unfortunately named kumquat, lemons, limes, Cuties, pears, but it quickly became apparent that the apple was my favorite!

Ok, onto the review, the Lemonade is a New Zealand apple from the Yummy Fruit Company that just came out last year.  It is a cross between a Gala and a Braeburn.  It is a gold or light green in color with some patches of red.  It has quite an elongated shape and they are often tilted so they might not stand up very well, kind of like trying to stand up an egg.  Weebles wobble but they don't fall down but the Lemonade apple may and if it does, it may bruise as they have a thin skin and are delicate in that way.

They are supposed to be a "fizzy" apple, kind of like a glass of lemonade with some bubbles.  I don't really get the fizzy but it is good, crisp, tart, juicy and refreshing.  It is indeed somewhat reminiscent of a glass of lemonade.  Compared to other apples, I would rank Lemonade somewhere in the middle.  I did consume several as this was the first apple variety I'd seen in a while that I had not tried.

Finally, with the new growing season, there are some other apples out there for me to eat.  My next blog will feature the Paula Red.  Will it make the cut?  Tune in to find out and crunch on!

Day 38 - Sun-Maid dried Washington Apples

They are not fresh.  They are dried ... apples!  Sun-Maid dried Washington Apples are made using only the highest quality Washington apples.  They are orchard-ripened to the peak of their flavor, picked, sliced, carefully, oh so carefully dried and sealed into 5-ounce zipper bags to lock in freshness.

I found they had a pleasant level of stickiness and a shape that allowed me to stick them to my face as a mustache or eye brows!  With a little makeup, you could probably make them into a good fake scar as well.

I could not find out what specific variety of apple they are made from but they are tasty!  I like them on their own, in oatmeal, on my face or on cereal.  The only added ingredients are Potassium Metabisulfite and Sodium Sulfite as preservatives. They are healthier than cookies or chips so that's good.

In conclusion, they are better than raisins.  Tomorrow, I review Marzetti Peanut Butter Caramel Dip! for apples.  Crunch on!

Day 37 - Organic Braeburn and Dreams

Today's apple is the organic version of my old friend, from the 1990's, the Braeburn.  It is a good apple, this one is a good apple.  I would place it somewhere in the middle if I were ranking them, sweet, juicy, tart and fairly firm.

I would not be doing this blog today if not for the Braeburn.  As I said in my Day 9 review,  I was on lunch break at work at the Fox affiliate in Rochester, NY around 1997.  I brought an apple for lunch that day, not realizing it would be the best apple I had every eaten.  It was such a good apple, sweet, juicy, tart, just the right level of firmness and most importantly, that fragrant, floral quality that I had never experienced in an apple!  It was like the apple had been injected with rose water, wow!  It was like looking God in the face!  My legs buckled, I dropped my chips and they literally fell in slow motion.  I screamed, "Oh my God!" and then passed out.

I awoke, face down in a pile of broken chips and dreams to Ted the janitor emptying the trash.  I surveyed the room carefully but any evidence of the Braeburn's existence was gone.  I grabbed Ted by the leg and pleaded, "have you seen ... an apple?"  He said, "no" and pulled away quite rudely. Maybe the whole thing was a dream.  I have been chasing that dragon ever since.

Tomorrow, I review Sun Made brand dried Washington apples.  Crunch on!

Day 36 - Apple Butter Streusel Muffins

Today's review is for a homemade Apple Butter Streusel Muffin.  My wife Laura found the recipe online but added a little candied ginger to the steusel and this muffin is the bomb-diggity!  She executed the recipe flawlessly and it is so good.  The muffin has some cinnamon and nutmeg in the batter.  It has a layer of apple butter, a steusel topping and a apple cider glaze.  Good shit, yo.  Apple-eee and hot-damn!  Here is a link to the recipe:  https://www.tastesoflizzyt.com/apple-butter-streusel-muffins/

Tomorrow, I review the last actual apple I will review for a while.  It is an Organic Braeburn.  I looked for apples at some stores yesterday I hadn't been to before.  I went to Cermak Fresh Market. They had the biggest produce department I have ever seen but no apples I hadn't tried.  I went to Pacific Produce, nothing new.  I found an Organic Braeburn at a new Sendik's store on Miller Park Way.  This will be tomorrow's review.  I will have to wait for the next growing season for some new apples.  Crunch on!